A comic strip about mindful self-talk and our subconscious.
All images by the author
I’ve been playing around with affirmations this week. I had an idea to make affirmation videos, so I started writing some. It turns out it’s pretty easy to do these badly and send the wrong message to our subconscious.
As I wrote some bad ones, I noticed they sounded like how I would talk to myself when I first tried to stop drinking. It was a bit of an aha moment. I’d say to myself things like, ‘I WON’T drink’, not realising my subconscious would erase the ‘won’t’. I kept telling it, ‘I drink’.
It’s a fascinating subject, and this artwork is my very amateur exploration of it. I wish I’d understood this better at the beginning of my sober journey. I think it would have helped.
I haven’t been online much in the last week or two, so I hope everybody’s well and heading into a lovely weekend x
A comic strip about perspective and comparison in sobriety
Sometimes I see or read something, and it just pings off an idea for a comic strip. This week, a post by @sober_lynds_ (Instagram) sparked this process. It was about dropping the word ‘only’ from our self-talk around how much sober time we have.
It’s such a simple idea, but it’s surprisingly powerful. Many of us, myself included, have made multiple attempts to stop drinking. When I remember my previous attempts, I know I’ve thought or said, ‘I’ve ONLY got one day’ (or week/month). It’s negative and disheartening.
My first attempt to take a break from alcohol is so long ago I now can’t remember it. But I bet I didn’t say ‘only’ as much back then. Those first victories and milestones are so easy to celebrate. Frustration can creep in when we slip up or relapse and repeatedly restart, and we may start comparing our present efforts with our more successful past attempts. Even worse, we might compare ourselves to our peers with more sober time.
Both frustration and comparison are understandable when we’re struggling, but neither is helpful. One day at a time is a saying we often hear in the recovery world, and it can seem like a cliche, but there’s a lot of wisdom there. Today is all that matters. Today is always an opportunity for a win. The only comparison that is ever helpful is with the version of ourselves we were yesterday.
Treat yourself as you would treat others. You would support a struggling friend and clap for their wins. Can you do it for yourself, too?
So whether it’s your first attempt or you’ve lost count of your day ones, and whether you’re on day one, a hundred or a thousand, try to stay conscious of your self-talk. If you notice the word ‘only’ creeping in, then cross that pesky bugger out with a big mental red pen.
I remember how I used to talk to myself when I first tried to stop drinking. There was a lot of negativity and fear. It’s surprising how much this can change over time, though. ‘I can’t’ becomes ‘I’ll try not to’. Then it becomes ‘I won’t’, and finally, ‘I don’t want to’.
It’s helpful to stay aware of how we talk to ourselves about our relationship with alcohol because it’s easy to send the wrong messages without realising it. Sometimes, when we examine our choice of words, we realise we’re looking backwards and focusing on the fear and avoidance of negatives. Choosing reinforcing and determined language that inspires positivity, acceptance, and growth is far more helpful at every stage of sobriety.
Against The Dream 